Alone Again Or

My mom didn’t have many good friends, but the ones she did have were dear to her. One of them, CJ, shared with my mom a love of music and many adventures, and my mom actually lived with CJ and her family for a bit in high school.

CJ and my mom kept in touch via occasional phone calls and more-frequent-than-calls emails. So when my mom died, I emailed CJ to let her know.

CJ, who lives in Utah, came to San Diego last week and invited me to dinner and to a concert by Love Revisited, the current version of the band she and my mom adored. It was a no-brainer to say yes (even if it was weird to go to an indoor concert).

Spending time with CJ was like being with my mom in a lot of ways. They have the same sense of style and some of the same mannerisms. It was a reminder of how much friends in our young adult years help shape who we become. At the same time, CJ made my mom — who was very… unconventional — seem pretty “normal” in some ways. (Let’s just say the late ’60s and ’70s were a tumultuous time and she has the stories to prove it.)

The show was fantastic. The band sounded great and, having grown up on the music (this song, “Alone Again Or” may be familiar to you), I was pleased to see people people enjoying and appreciating their legacy. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was very bittersweet. To be sitting there with my mom’s friend, not my mom, was hard. It will go down in the record books as the first concert at which I’ve cried.